Thus sayeth we…

And The Enchanted Forest, do speak unto these visitors who do flood into Northern New Mexico, saying, in this place thou art most heartily welcome and art henceforth our neighbors. Nevertheless these commandments shall ye observe for optimal vacation enjoyment.

Thou shalt not empty the ashes of they fireplace into a paper bag; Neither shall you put that sack upon thy wooden deck or there shall be great consternation when the flames do consume thy house or condominium.

Thou shalt not leave thy ski boots to dry atop a heater vent overnight for there shall be great woe and gnashing of teeth when the plastic does melt into a shapeless blob.

Likewise, do not leave your ski boots attached to your skis when those skis are on your ski rack. For, not only do you look really silly; but whensoever you do arrive at the ski area, these shall be hard and cold and there will be great cries of anguish when they are placed upon your feet.

Do not be tempted to wear tennis shoes and cotton socks for, though they are oftentimes a comfort to you, they will not protect you from the cold, wet snow and will therefore be a cause of great misfortune. Wear snow boots instead.

Hasten not to leave in the night during the great snowstorm because the snowplows may have not left their place of holding before you have and ye shall be stuck in a ditch.

Remember the laws of the potentate and do not drive your snowmobiles on the sacred left turn lane or shoulder or greenbelt for thine wallet wilt surely be lightened

Never throw thy gum wrapper, water bottle or other rubbish off the chairlift for, though the snow doth cover it in winter, in summer there shall appear a disgraceful heap that is a source of great woe and consternation to those who reside herein.

And, before thy visit, if ye wish to know if it will snow on the 16th day of the third month do not ask the innkeeper because he hath not that knowledge.

Be likewise informed that there is no artificial snow except that which cometh from the aerosol can. Therefore know man can maketh fine snow using the air and the water and the cold temperatures and thousands of dollars of high tech equipment.